7:27 PM Bump.

I'm in a great time in my life. Like a time once with David, I'm in a cave. But I come into town every so often.. God is good. I've been spending a lot of time in scripture. More than ever before. And even more in prayer. I'm wrestling more with God these days. I'm not trying to constitute how I can be a nicer person. I think so often I look upon scripture like a closet full of clothes. And I concern myself with putting on a fashion show for the world to see. I go to the closet and look to add the much needed attributes in my life, to give the appearance of a "Christian" for those around me.. I'm tired of trying to find the right t-shirt that will make everyone happy. God is deep and I'm diving in head first.... and let me tell you, it's like a pool with no water.. IT HURTS! God is exposing me, waking me up early, keeping me up all night. He is speaking to me in profound areas where I need more of Him. I started this blog because it helps me see my own thoughts. I have the benefit of getting critiqued every single day. And although some come from behind my back, I'm still moving forward. God will let me swim in His pool, but only when I learn how and promise not to pee in it.

God is deep and I'm diving in head first.... and let me tell you, it's like a pool with no water.. IT HURTS!

I know a lot of people stop by to see what "Angry Juan" has to say. And it seems this is the only avenue I have right now to share my heart... Let me say in all seriousness, I'm not angry in the way you might think. God is calling me to challenge myself. He is calling me out to say the things that are being forgotten. Not just around me, but even the truths I have abandoned. He is calling me out, towards change and through repentance. He's challenging me to take thoughts to scripture and not consume them as absolute truths until I've lined them with His word. If they fail to parallel, or go beyond His margins, He has told me to cast them aside and not skew His word for my justification. God is reminding me of His design. Through repentance and salvation in Jesus Christ, we are able to obtain the promise He has for us. Through the Cross it has been demonstrated. He is reminding me that scripture is God breathed and it all came from His hand alone. Starting from Prophets to Kings to even the least and the simple words of John the baptist, being cleansed of our sins, to the profound example of Jesus himself. And furthermore the encouragement from men of God like Paul, I AM CALLED! I'm not perfect and this blog is not the avenue to find my true character and most importantly to know me like your friend.

God is reminding me of His design.


I want to be a man whose evil past is forgotten. I want to be a man of humility and strength. A man of boldness. I want to be a man that is full of life and defends it as well. I want to be a trusted man, I want to be a man of compassion and justice. I want to be a biblical man, a Godly man, a man of love and character... A disciplined man that is not easily swayed by the craftiness of the enemy. I want to be a man that is called upon by others. I want to be a man of discernment and a man that can stand in full view that he may be wrong when others are clearly right. A man that can be rebuked. I want to be told "well done, good and faithful servant". I want to make sure I lead a life that places Christ on display, that people may see Him instead of me. I want to be known as a man after God's own heart. I want people to forget my name but know the good things I've done for the kingdom. I don't want to be told by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords that He never knew me! I desire to appease no man but only Jesus. I want to love like He loved. But I want to hate the things He hates and confidently stand against them protecting those around me. I don't want to be in a place where I have to question God and try to redefine His truths to correlate with the world I live in. I want to present Jesus in the way that is unaltered, remains the same as it has always been, but communicates to my generation and calls us to change. I really feel like I'm in the lions den and danger is all around. But I'm so not afraid, God is with me and I'm not trembling in any man made fear but only in the righteousness of God's presence..... and I just want to make sure that I remain with Him. This is the direction I am heading, this is where I am.... I can still look back and see where it started and although many of you are further ahead.. I ask for your patience and even more, your prayer.